Marriage Conflict - The Result of Poor Planning

If anyone tells you that being married is easy and blissful take note. That person is lying!

All marriages will face a challege from day one. Sorry but I do not want to be a wet blanket but that is a fact.

I know because I have been married for 19 years.

When you just got married it is obvious that both of you are deeply in love and are not capable of thinking rationally. The honeymoon period is like a dream. Your thinking will be clouded by love. Shortly after your marriage and when the honeymoon period is over, reality sets in. That is when marriage conflicts begin.

Suddenly everything begin to change. You and your spouse will be faced with issues that were not talked about or thought about prior to your wedding.

Marriage Problems

Suddenly the marriage involves making decisions and questions that need answers and actions.

The truth is most couples jump the gun. They are not fully ready to shoulder the responsibilities of being married. They get married too soon. They get married too fast.

Be it for love and romance, or for the sake of a baby that's on the way, or two kids just looking for a way to get out of their parents house, improper planning is one of the root causes of marriage conflict.

Marriage is about two people who are in love and decide to become legally bound in matrimony. One of the marriage vow taken is "Till Death Do Us Part".... Even though it is only 5 words, if you look "in depth", planning must be done before taking the plunge. A marriage involves union of two people of different background, behaviour, beliefs etc.

A marriage is like a business. For any business to be successful, it must start with a business plan. It is no exception to a marriage. Marriage involves more than just being deeply in love. You cannot live on love alone. As your marriage progresses, it involves how money is spend, it involves children, it involves jobs and anything else that is important for the future of the marriage. All these issues needs to be addressed. All successful marriage must start with a successful marriage plan.

A marriage plan is flexible and can be change to suit current situation. So if you are already married and are now faced with marriage problems it is never too late to put a plan together. Sit down with your spouse and work out a marriage plan to save your marriage. I cannot emphasize enough that a marriage plan is absolutely conducive to marriage survival.

A wise man once said "Make your plan - and then work it"

Never too shy to seek help from others when faced with marriage conflict. Most of the time marriage counseling can help you identify problems and find a solution that have eluded you and your spouse because of anger, hate and resentment. It will be sad to end a marriage without having a clear understanding what went wrong in the same place.

5 Marriage Conflicts You Must Learn To Resolve

Every marriage has its ups and downs. Disagreements are considered part and parcel of any marriages. The key to a happy marriage is how the marriage conflicts are managed.

Below are a list of 5 common marriage conflicts and what you can do to resolve them.

Unison approach to matters concerning children
When couples have different approaches to parenting their children, it can lead to marriage conflicts. Avoid articulating your disagreement or displeasure on the way your spouse is disciplining the children in front of your kids. It may confuse them especially if they have to choose which parent to believe.

No matter how much you disagree at that point in time, show support to your spouse actions when the kids are around. Later away from the kids, discuss with your spouse and express your disagreement or unhappiness about their decisions. Whatever is it, you must never blame each other. Instead find ways to solve the conflict. Decide what is best for the children and stick to that decision.

Managing Differences
A marriage involves two people from different backgrounds, families, habits, beliefs, experiences, personalities and upbringing coming together to set up a family. It is common that these differences can lead to conflicts and disagreements.
The best thing to resolve conflicts due to differences is to draw up a list of spouse habits that is irritating you and talk to them. Make them know how much those habits are affecting you. Then give them time to adjust or change.

Communicate and have realistic expectations
It is common for married couples to have expectations in the marriage and in their spouse. The problem is the expectations may vary or may be different between each spouse. At times, even after marriage, these expectations remain unspoken.

During courtship, couples find it easy to live in denial. However being married makes problem realistic. Couples must learn to communicate openly and honestly about what is important and what is expected of each other. When they develop realistic expectations, the anger and resentment will be more manageable if what is expected is not achieved.

Difficult in-laws
In-laws are known to be a major factor in most marriage conflicts. Most commonly the wife will be the one who is having problems seeing eye to eye with her in-laws. When this happens, husbands are usually caught in between.

The best way to resolve this conflict is to reduce involvement with parents. It does not mean you love your parents any lesser. However, it is best to use the time to get to know and understand your spouse better. Speak to your spouse if you feel that you do not agree with your in-laws opinions or behavior. Give your spouse time to talk to their parents. Remember that when you speak up for your spouse with your parents, it does not mean you are less filial or you are taking sides. You must decide and do what is best for your marriage and your own family now.

Handle money issues together
Monetary woes can make or break many marriages. When couples handle money issues and problems differently, it can cause conflict. A wife may feel that buying using coupons can help savings while the husband may feel that if you do not need it, why bother to buy at all.

To resolve money conflicts, work out a budget and learn to spend within it. Couples can prevent accumulated debts if they keep track of income and expenditure. It is so common for the wives to leave all money matters to their spouse. This is especially true if she is a homemaker. Both couples need to be responsible when handling money issues.

Marriage conflicts must never be taken lightly. It is important that these conflicts be resolved as soon as possible because if left alone, it can lead to other bigger problems or even divorce.

If you are having conflicts in your marriage right now and you are having difficulty resolving them, do not give up hope. You may be wondering and asking yourself Is the honeymoon over?

It doesn't have to be the end of your marriage! Click on Save My Marriage to get all the answers to major marriage issues. Discover where you are in your marriage life cycle and ways to overcome the negativity and explain the change in your marriage.

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Take action now and click here to stop your Marriage Conflict.

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